Drowning in Words

alt-j:

ppl on this website be like your grades don’t measure your intelligence but whether or not you drink tea and like dr. who does

(via candlelion-deactivated20140107)

I trust you. You’re the only person in this whole world that has that privilege. I love you more than anyone, more than myself. There is not a second that goes by that I don’t want to be with you. But lately I just feel so lost. I’m not happy with you anymore. I am constantly talking myself out of irrational anger towards you. Why I should contain an outburst and save it until the feeling goes away. I miss you even though you’re right beside me. I’ve spent this whole week just wanting to cry because you are my life but I hate my life and I can’t understand that. I’m not jealous of the sluts you call your friends; I’m smarter, prettier, and more successful than all of them. I’m offended that people expect me to be jealous, as if I have something to compete with. I don’t feel your parent approval when they pull that. That don’t want you with me, they despise me. The guy I fell in love with had ambition and confidence. I don’t know where all of that went. Now all you want is to drop out and get a job? Pull some stupid easy money tricks to get out of actually working for it? Who are you? Because this is definitely not the person I love. Maybe I just need space and some time away from you because right now I don’t want to be with you at all. I want to run in the opposite direction as fast as I can to get away. I don’t want to lose you but I’m not about to waste another six years on a worthless deadbeat who refuses to get his life together. Your brilliance is what drug me in, but you’re giving it up and that’s pushing me away. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to die and make it all better for everyone involved.

like, my only desire right now is to starve myself to being skinny and then slit my wrists so that i feel better. i’m so angry and upset and sad. i can’t keep feeling this way. i want to die. i dont understand how i can feel both absolutely terrified and furious at the same time. i want to rip the muscles out of my arms but i also want to bury myself alive. build me a coffin because i swear i’m about to be six feet under.

When am I allowed to quit

I don’t know why I’m trying

And then he forgot about her.

We must die to one life before we enter another.

Anatole France

I laid down in the grass of the meadow. The wind gently blew the tears across my cheeks, trailing sorrow on my face. The silence of the space invaded my body; slowly tore me limb from limb saving my heart for last. My poor, poor heart. It caught fire under the sky’s touch.

Suddenly, my entire body was engulfed in flames. Instead of the wind moving me I was now moving the wind. When I opened my eyes my sight was no longer blurry. I saw everything in technicolor. It was like what I had seen before was now some beautiful canvas made for my eyes to paint. My fingertips setthe air on fire. My breath came out red in front of me. I wasn’t grounded any more either—I was floating. It was marvelous. But then I was on fire. Serious. burning. fire. I screamed and ended up flying higher until suddenly the flames doused themselves and I was plummeting to the ground.

I landed with a sharp thud.

“Remember, anyone can love you when the sun is shining. In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you.”

—   (via iloveyoursoul)

(via livetodieforyou)

(Source: alsowizardry)